Thursday, September 30, 2004

Survivor Snacks
I was chatting with Sheldon the other day and we got to talking about Blackmarsh Rd. and watching Survivor together and eating our Survivor snacks. There is nothing else I can think of that was as fun as going to Big Daddys for pizza or to Mary Browns for taters and toppings, and then watching Survivor. Besides the good food, the laughing at Sheldon's reactions to the show were priceless! I miss that. Come to think of it, I miss Sheldon!

So I've been craving ice cream since yesterday (thanks a lot Debbie!), and I decided I would go get some at Sam's. I totally got myself a Survivor snack :) I got one of those yummy drum stick thingies with the caramel in the middle and a bag of chips. Before you scold me, I balanced out the junky ice cream with sun chips. They're healthy!! And I also bought two cans of drink.

The cans of drink bring me right back to Blackmarsh as well. Going to Williams to get a Pepsi and a Mug root beer, and coming home to fill up the big blue glass with ice and have a drink and chat with Janice on the bridge while she had a smoke. Remember when we would chat about Jeff and his loan and the Jungle Jim's thing? Made me mad every time...I'm getting a little riled as I type!! Haha!

I'm having a very good mood day. First one I've had in weeks....maybe months. Got off work early today and had some lovely chats on msn. Had the house to myself for a bit and had a very good sing for myself at the top of my lungs! And had a good snack. It's just been good :D

So I usually end off my post with bits of a song. Sometimes they are words that fit my mood, or fit the theme of my post, or are the words to a song I happen to be listening to while I'm writing! Tonight I think I will end off with a cute little song I've been singing for days now. It's mine and Rory's song. God love him...you should hear him sing it!

Good night all. Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese. I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table and onto the floor, and then my poor meatball rolled right out the door. It rolled into the garden and under a bush, and now my poor meatball is nothing but mush*

Amanda
xo



Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 10:45 p.m..



Sunday, September 26, 2004

Only a Dream
Yesterday was such a crazy, busy day. I got up at 10:30 and as soon as we were all ready we went to lunch and then grocery shopping. By the time we got home it was almost 4:00 and we had to get ready to go to Bay Robert's to the ballfield for the Relay for Life cancer walk.

We got there at about 5:30 and registered and got all our gear put in Lynette's sisters trailer and then set up our tent on the field. That's when it all began. There was so much going on...opening speeches, the survivors lap, and then the walk for everyone.

It was all just so emotional for me. At about 9:30 we had a luminary ceremony. They had candles laid out all around the track we were walking in the field. There were songs and a moment of silence for cancer victims and they lit all the candles. It was so beautiful. I bought a candle to light to honor mom. She's been cancer free for years and I'm just so grateful that she's healthy now. There were people crying all around me...sobbing. It broke my heart. Listening to other peoples sadness makes you feel so small. Makes you realize that maybe your problems aren't as big as you make them out to be. It's overwhelming.

Much of the night after that passed in a blur. We ate, and walked, and laughed, and had a blast watching the other teams sing horribly when it was kareoke time! I think I must have walked 100+ laps around the ballfield. Thank goodness for the Timmy's run. I don't know how we would have gotten through the night without the coffee to keep us warm and awake.

It was so cold there. I was all bundled up. Sweater, t shirt over that, two pairs of pants, my winter coat and a comforter wrapped around me!! I was big as a bear! And I was still cold! I'm never warm. haha.

I won a prize in the bucket auction :) A nice sweater jacket thing. And I'm very proud that I didn't fall asleep once all night. At around 5am I did sort of zone out. Maybe I slept with my eyes open because I know I never closed them! We got home at around 6:15 this morning and I have never been so happy to take sneakers off my feet. My poor little tootsies. I scrubbed them in the carpet for about five minutes. Then I got ready for bed and was asleep by 6:35! I slept until 2:30 this afternoon. I really hope I can get to sleep tonight at a decent hour.

Today I'm feeling so good. Well, besides the sore throat and sniffles I got from being out in the cold all night, and the tender, swollen feet I have from all the walking! I've never done anything like the cancer walk before. It makes me feel good that I was there and that I helped out. I feel happy.

Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*Deliver me courage to guide me. Deliver me your strength inside me*

Amanda
xo



Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 7:25 p.m..



Saturday, September 25, 2004

Frustration
Grrr!!! So, I am ready to admit that I am technically challenged. I've known it for a while but tonight I proved it. Chris and Lynette went out and I have the house to myself. I decided to take advantage of the quiet and being alone, and was going to watch "Better than Chocolate". I put the dvd in the player and I could hear the movie but could not see it. I started fooling around with things, pressing buttons and the like and still couldn't figure it out. So, I phoned dad and he was trying to help me.

Now, I don't know if any of you know what I am like when it comes to receiving instructions or when I try to tell you what I've done or pressed, but I succeeded in frustrating dad and therefore I was even more frustrated! I finally managed to figure out how to get the picture, but then I had no sound!! So, I was pretty pissed off and I turned it all off...lol! It's funny now, but man, I was ready to beat it all up.

I wanted to watch the movie pretty badly, so I turned it on and watched it with no sound! I really wanted to see the couch scene. Such a good scene :) Not the same without sound, but still so good! I absolutely love that movie. And there ends my dvd adventures for the evening!!

I had a decent day....kind of a weird evening. I was extremely bored, and when I am bored I think a lot, and when I think I get sad. Blah! I am a strange bird.

I must go on again I suppose. Besides my dvd experience I've had a pretty uneventful day. Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*You've got perfect fingers, a velvet voice. Your eyes hold the key and I can't believe you can see...Please hold me*

Amanda
xo


Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 1:11 a.m..



Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Rain
I am loving the rain we've been having these past few days. The sound of it is so peaceful and calming. I could sit forever and listen and just think. And that's just what I've been doing. My sadness has improved a little since last week, but I still can't seem to shake it all. It's following me around like starving puppy. I've been getting lots of hugs and kisses and adoring looks from Rory. There is nothing like the sweetness of a child to make you just want to break out the smiles. I love him to death.

Had a sort of party here Saturday night past. About 10 people were here...drinking, laughing. Of course, it was all couples.....and me :( I played some drinking games and got oficially drunk as a skunk! I was feeling no pain, and it was nice for a change. God bless white russians in a tall glass :)

So, I'm off again for another while. Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*Are you so strong, or is all the weakness in me*

Amanda
xo


Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 10:59 p.m..



Friday, September 17, 2004

Darkness
I look like crap. I feel even worse than that. What is wrong with me? I am an idiot of the biggest kind. My brain has failed me. Common sense has fled. I feel darkness swooping in on me and I am powerless to fight it off. I don't think I even want to try. I am going to just sit here and let it drown me.

I am tired of this lonliness, and sadness and hurting. I'm tired of being me. I'm tired of getting up every morning to face the lonely day. I'm tired of my life. I'm tired of life. I'm just so fucking tired.

*I am worthless sounds compared to all your perfect words*
*I'm dying inside and nobody knows it but me*

Amanda


Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 6:35 p.m..



Wednesday, September 15, 2004

It's a Bird...
Yesterday Rory and I were eating lunch in the kitchen and a flock of blue jays landed in the back yard. There were five of them plus two robins. It seemed like they were doing tricks! So, Rory and I, like the kids we are, were captivated by the 'bird show' :) Rory kept saying "aren't they amazing, Amanda?" haha! He's such a little old man. It amazes me that he's only two and a half. He's so sweet...I could bite his cheeks!

I gave in tonight and turned on the heat in my bedroom. Summer is oficially gone for me. I've been so cold these past few days and especially at night when I go to bed. I think I'm getting the flu. My throat is sore and I have the sniffles :( I can't wait to cuddle down in the blankets in my bed!

Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*Remember when, you were young and so was I, and time stood still*

Amanda
xo





Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 8:18 p.m..



Sunday, September 12, 2004

Shopping
Went to St. John's today. I love Old Navy. It has to be one of the best stores I've ever been in. Got Lynette's birthday gift and an orange t shirt for me. I saw so many things that I wanted. I gave Chris my money so I wouldn't be tempted to buy like crazy!

Saw the movie "Cellular". It was awesome. I loved it. I thought it was even better than the tv previews make it look. Everyone should go see it.

We stuck around until the flea market started. Of course I had to but another hemp bracelet. The same cute chick was selling them....I had to :) And I found the cutest wooden thingie for Mrs. Shortall. I'll have to give that to her tomorrow as her birthday was on Friday! Got a moolatte at Dairy Queen. I only bought it because it has the word moo in it....but it's actually quite tasty. French vanilla. I think I could shop every day. I'm addicted!

My first week back at the Shortall's is over already. Things are going smoothly. The boys weren't shy around me, it was like I'd never left. Rory is much more talkative and he hugs me a hundred times a day :) It's just Rory and I home all day since Nolan has full days now. It's different but nice. They're my cuties.

So, that's all of my excitement for another while. Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*You're my angel, come and save me tonight*

Amanda
xo



Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 9:48 p.m..



Sunday, September 05, 2004

Blah!
I've been having a pretty crappy couple of days. Paul has been down and what a treat that's been. If you can't tell, my words are dripping with sarcasm. He saw the doctor the other day and his meds have been changed. Let me tell you, it's not a fun time for us.

The weather has been absolutely gross. I changed my bed yesterday and put on two extra blankets. Went to bed last night with long sleeved jammies on and I was still cold! I hate being cold in bed. My toes were like little blocks of ice! I refuse to turn on the heat just yet. I know that once I turn up that thermostat summer is oficially gone! I can't seem to let go....haha!

Going back to the Shortall's on Tuesday. It blows my mind how quickly the months have been tiptoeing past me. I can hardly wait to start getting up before 7 in the morning again. Blah! I'd rather bend over and let ten people kick me in my ass with both their feet than get up early in the morning. The only good thing is that I'll be hanging out with Rory again. My little cutie pie :)

So, here I sit. Cold hands and sooky mood. Thank goodness I just had some coffee from Timmy's. Jann Arden's 'Blood Red Cherry' cd has been keeping me company these past few days. What would I do without caffiene and the song 'Sorry For Myself'? I refuse to even entertain the thought.

Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*I'm powerless to change the world. I'm powerless to stop the hurt*

Amanda
xo


Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 10:34 p.m..



Thursday, September 02, 2004

Call me Grandma!
I feel like a little old lady tonight! First, Lynette taught me how to do cross stitch, and now I'm eating toast with jam. All I need is my green granny blanket and I'm all set. I do miss that blanket... :-)

Went to Walmart with Chris yesterday. I bought a cactus with a huge orange flower on top of it. It's the coolest plant I have ever seen. I've wanted one forever. Now all I have to do is find a good place to put it.

I'm going to St. John's tomorrow. Paul has a doctor's appointment and after he's done with that we're going to do a little shopping. My favorite pasttime! Maybe I'll get mom to go to Old Navy. I'd like to see what all the fuss is about.

I think I'll take off again. Take care everyone. Talk soon. Ta ta for now.

*The world is falling apart and I know in my heart I don't know what to do about it*

Amanda
xo


Sweet Eeyeore Was Hugged and Kissed on 12:17 a.m..